The Girl and the Pig Movie, finally...

Also to continue reading about my extremely un-interesting life you can find me at LiveJournal. http://mrfrodo17.livejournal.com

I would also like to add that I don't own any of the music included. To find out what music is used please watch the credits, because you know, that's what they're there for.

Film

I know there are some mistakes but this is basically the template for the film. Of course it will be long and there will be an actual story line at some point, you know with actors and images and stuff. But I am so happy I've already done so much! And I think the music so far works really well. Can't wait until November!

© the girl and the pig

The Girl and the Pig

My new artistic obsession is currently the title of this post. The Girl and the Pig is the story of a young girl who has been exiled and labeled an outcast from society because of her differences. These differences being her ability to speak and the small plush pig she carries around with her. I have no idea how I came up with this idea, honestly it sort of just happened. I suppose when I'm writing a film I have to centre it around what actors I can use, the main ones being myself, Bridgette and her younger sister Eleanor. It's good really because all three of us do like acting and since we all know each other acting together is easy. So whenever I write I use Eleanor as a kind of focus. If I can create a character centred around her I feel as though I'll have more success in creating one, basically because I feel more inclined to continue writing if I know I can actually finish it.

The Girl and the Pig will be filmed in black and white to the sounds of Bauhaus and Radiohead, with flashbacks in old film and another character called Beastgirl, played by Bridgette Brown. It's only going to be short. I went to a seminar in June at Supanova about film and I was told that the best way to start is with Shortfilms, so this is what this is, a really really short film. I can picture it only being 10-15 minutes long. It isn't the kind of story that doesn't need to be long. It begins with the girl leaving society, being alone and confused and remembering how she came to leave (through flashbacks). Then she meets the Beastgirl, and she realises that she isn't the only one alone, and she can be happy living like this. But she is still tormented and with an odd understanding the Beastgirl comforts her and she comes to accept what society is and becomes a beast to the modern world; something hiding in the bush, watching.

Obviously I know it's going to be hard to convey that particular idea onto screen but it'll be fun to try!

We're going to try and film some time in November, after our exams.

October

I thought I'd start off the October posts with a little art

Anna Maxwell Martin as N in the film Poppy Shakespeare

because apparently, life is excellent

So far I have to say these holidays have been nothing short of extraordinary. That's pretty sad when I say I have spent it with the same group of people but honestly, it really couldn't be better. I don't care that I have certain people I could probably spend the rest of my life with. I love them. Is there anything greater then that? I don't know, probably world peace or an end of famine, but I think without those problems the world would be boring. The world isn't about being perfect. The world is about suffering shit but always finding that bubble where you can be happy and love the people you're with. You just have to find it and know how to get back.

I'm going to the Royal Show tomorrow with Bridgette and her family. This is great because the last time I went was a few years a go and also I went with Tim, Grace and Bryce, which isn't a bad thing, it's just weird looking back on. Well okay, I hate Grace now, but whatever. We had a good day. I bought the Elmo Showbag if I remember correctly. I'm not sure if I'm going to get one tomorrow, I'm more for the poster place we found last time and stocking up on something yummy since I'm sure last time these massive posters were only $10 or something similar.

The only weird thing about going this time is the last time I did go I was er, dating Tim which explains why I went with him but I don't know, it'll just bring back a lot of strange memories. What with -

Oh I'm sorry, I nearly began a naughty rant.

I'm going to stop now before I say something really bad. Please excuse me.

home

[Her:]
Alabama, Arkansas,
I do love my ma and pa,
Not the way that I do love you.

[Him:]
Holy, Moley, me, oh my,
You're the apple of my eye,
Girl I've never loved one like you.

[Her:]
Man oh man you're my best friend,
I scream it to the nothingness,
There ain't nothing that I need.

[Him:]
Well, hot and heavy, pumpkin pie,
Chocolate candy, Jesus Christ,
Ain't nothing please me more than you.

[Both:]
Ahh Home. Let me come home
Home is wherever I'm with you.
Ahh Home. Let me go ho-oh-ome.
Home is wherever I'm with you.

La, la, la, la, take me home.
Mother, I'm coming home.

[Him:]
I'll follow you into the park,
Through the jungle through the dark,
Girl I never loved one like you.

[Her:]
Moats and boats and waterfalls,
Alley-ways and pay phone calls,
I've been everywhere with you.

[Him:]
We laugh until we think we’ll die,
Barefoot on a summer night
Nothin’ new is sweeter than with you

[Her:]
And in the streets you run afree,
Like it's only you and me,
Geeze, you're something to see.

[Both:]
Ahh Home. Let me go home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.
Ahh Home. Let me go ho-oh-ome.
Home is wherever I'm with you.

La, la, la, la, take me home.
Daddy, I'm coming home.

(Talking)
Him: Jade
Her: Alexander
Him: Do you remember that day you fell outta my window?
Her: I sure do, you came jumping out after me.
Him: Well, you fell on the concrete, nearly broke your ass, you were bleeding all over the place and I rushed you out to the hospital, you remember that?
Her: Yes I do.
Him: Well there's something I never told you about that night.
Her: What didn't you tell me?
Him: While you were sitting in the backseat smoking a cigarette you thought was gonna be your last, I was falling deep, deeply in love with you, and I never told you til just now.

[Both:]
Ahh Home. Let me go home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.
Ahh Home. Let me go ho-oh-ome.
Home is where I'm alone with you.

[Him:]
Home. Let me come home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.

[Her:]
Ahh home. Yes I am ho-oh-ome.
Home is when I'm alone with you.

[Her:]
Alabama, Arkansas,
I do love my ma and pa...
Moats and boats and waterfalls,
Alley-ways and pay phone calls...

[Both:]
Ahh Home. Let me go home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.
Ahh Home. Let me go ho-oh-ome.
Home is where I'm alone with you..

Have you been eating bunnies?

It's the holidays. Whoooo! Oh yeah, I'm so totally not really that excited. The year is going to quick for my taste. Winter seemed non-existent. Not to long ago I was complaining about going to school again and wishing for the next set of holidays. Now they're here. It's already been nearly three months since I started writing this blog and I can already picture Christmas. There's something wrong with the world. It's like we're jumping on a time loop, fast forwarding accidentally, like maybe someone's sitting on the remote or theirs some dodgy wiring. I'm finding myself sitting alone and trying to remember everything that happened day and finding that I can't. I can't remember anything. So far most things come back to me but I can't help wondering why that is. Is it just me? Or is it something else?

I think this year has been good. I mean, I went to England and I started year ten and I turned fifteen and I've been single all year and pretty happy about it. I've declared my love and found a true friend and made some new ones. I've seen a true hero of mine perform on stage and seen one of my favourite bands live but I feel as though there is something missing, like I'm forgetting something. Like maybe when someone sat on the remote my head skipped a few weeks or months and now I'm here, wondering what went wrong.

The year seems incomplete. There is this gap and it needs filling and so far I haven't found something that fits and I'm not really sure that I ever will. I'm excited for next year because I'll be in upper school and high school will be over soon but I'm sure I'm exactly ready for it. I'm not entirely positive that when I get there I'll know what to do and if I'll be able to cope. I'm far to complicated for my own good. It's hurting my head.

Wait, I'm a guy

There is a reason for the lack of blogging lately. I've been a bit busy watching a particular show...so, remember when I had that obsession with Angel Season Four and Angel's son Connor? Ah well, I similar thing has happened. Only it's with Vampire Diaries and this time main character Elena's younger brother Jeremy. Who is the yummiest person ever in existence!

A photo from my favourite episode so far, Season 1 - Haunted. It has the best lighting as you can see from the photo. And it's filmed in a really creepy but sexy way. Because well, Jeremy just has that effect on me. Did I say I love his voice? No. Did I tell him it's adorable when he's drunk and falls over when yelling at Elena? No. Well, he is. If I were to have the perfect boyfriend he would be it.


Oh, and he looks yummy when he looks kind of evil and pissed off as well. He he.

Well it's cool because I've been watching them from this site called TVduck. The download is usually pretty fast when my internet is in a good mood and if I'm not in my room. Deep sigh. But it's great because I can just leave episodes up and watch scenes whenever I feel like it! I think I've watched Haunted about fifty times. Truly my favourite episode.

Yummy (:

Egg does it

I am thinking of starting a new diet sometime next week. It's my health thing. I've decided I'm putting on weight and with my new found love of fruit I thought a health hit might be necessary. At this very moment I'm considering going running but ah, since I'm quite comfy on the couch who knows when that might actually happen.

I'm listening to my newly downloaded Laura Marling songs and the moment. Bridgette introduced her to me a very long while ago and it's taken me this long to actually download the first album. Oh well. At least I did it. Anyway I think she is definitely one of the most poetic artist's I've ever heard. Clever with words and also creepy. Because creepy is a good thing. I mean what I would I be if I wasn't the creepy weird kid? Exactly.

I met you at the blood bank

Well I met you at the blood bank
We were looking at the bags
Wondering if any of the colors
Matched any of the names we knew on the tags

You said "see look thats yours!
Stacked on top with your brother's
See how the resemble one another
Even in their plastic little covers"

And I said I know it well

That secret that you knew
But don't know how to tell
It fucks with your honor
And it teases your head
But you know that its good girl
Cos its running you with red

Then the snow started falling
We were stuck out in your car
You were rubbing both of my hands
Chewing on a candy bar

You said "'aint this just like the present
To be showing up like this"
AS a moon waned to crescent
We started to kiss

And I said I know it well

That secret that we know
That we don't know how to tell
I'm in love with your honor
I'm in love with your cheeks
What's that noise up the stairs babe?
Is that Christmas morning creaks?

And I said I know it well

I know it well ...

Bon Iver

Variety Show, Extraordinaire

It's just like art. Stupid and pretty.

Bridgette Brown photgraphy

BEAUTIFUL FREAKS!

I thought I would include this one, just because I look kind of slim.

How It Ends

Hold your grandmother's Bible to your breast.
Gonna put it to the test.
You want it to be blessed.
And in your heart,
You know it to be true,
You know what you gotta do.
They all depend on you.
And you already know.
Yeah, you already know how this will end.

There is no escape,
From the slave-catchers' songs.
For all of the loved ones gone.
Forever's not so long.
And in your soul,
They poked a million holes.
But you never lettem show.
C'mon it's time to go.



And
You
Already know.
Yeah, you already know

How this will end.

Fuck the teachers

A warm greeting to any one academically challenged out there. By that I mean anyone who finds teaching to be their prime career. You are all fucking idiots. At some point in a teacher's life I think they all experience a phase of hatred and impatience towards kids. It's not necessarily because the kids suck but it's because of the repetitiveness of their job psychologically and the strain of the changing education system.

One example who I won't name spoke to me today and maybe it was the fact that he yelled at me like I was five years old or maybe it was the fact that he couldn't get off his fat arse and do something about the problem at hand; just because he's old doesn't mean he deserves any special kind of respect. I don't know him and when I decide that he's a good person, I will treat him with whatever respect and I can give. Just so the world knows he hasn't exactly given me a good reason yet. In fact my talk with him today would have been a total failure if one more decent teacher hadn't walked in and began an interesting debate on Stage 2 Photography.

Thank you for listening to my special rant. Have some music.

Just to cheer me up

Bridgette sent it to me yesterday. I'm trying to boost my posts and this made me smile. Smiling is a good thing and I suggest you do it often. Anyway...

Limited posts, for that I am sorry

I know I've bee a tad quiet these past weeks. Well, very quiet since this is the first time I've posted something in well...12 days. I guess I've been a bit preoccupied with school and people and the whole life in general. Honestly I didn't think how much I wanted school to end until Bridgette mentioned it. Every week seems to be getting longer and everyday slower. I'm thinking about year 11 and the future and what happens if I fail.

Failure is a common thing. It happens a lot. A great man told me on Wednesday that he wished he could be the one of those kinds of people who don't give up, who keep going. And he became that person. I'm thinking about that too. I can't remember what his name was but he lost both his legs in a car accident when he was 17 and now says he couldn't be happier. Not because he lost his legs but because he realised how great life can be.

I also watched a video yesterday night. This book series Skulduggery Pleasant is being made into a very low budget film by a tiny company called Treestump Films. Which I may add is just an adorable name. But anyway I watched an interview with the writer, director and editor, and two fellow actors and discovered that he is only twelve years old! Isn't it odd how when I was around his age, or maybe just a tad younger, my first sparks of creativity emerged. I began writing and reading; I became interested in photography and of late, I've become extremely interested in film to the point where I have decided it to be a worthy career. I think film is great for me because I can be creative but also express kinds of emotion I don't feel like I an express. Film is just a story where you see expression right in front of you rather then trying to imagine it. I guess it's great for people who have never felt a particular emotion before and can't picture what it might look like. I think this the reason I love art as well because sometimes I have trouble recognising emotions and figuring out what they mean. Film helps me do that.

After watching the interview I immediately brought up a rather old idea myself and Bridgette came up with over six months ago at a party in Mossman Park. It's a simple idea really if you can get through to the audience what it means and also if we were to shoot it (that is if I can finish writing it) we'd be able to do at school. Which you know, helps because I always picture scenes there. I created an entire death scene with the help of Bridgette and an old friend, Charlotte, to our music department. So we'd have to film it there otherwise it would make no sense.

Anyway I found another more personal project today which I based in Fremantle. It's a comedy about young people trying to be young people mixed in with the idea of young love. I was told by my brother yesterday at dinner that I think as though I'm older then I am. This touched me in a nice way. It's one the nicest things someone has said to me in a long time basically because I knew it, I just didn't know what it was. Well, since I've devised an entire scene for that project as well, to the sounds of Eels, I think I should definitely keep writing. Also I want to continue with How I Live Now but probably after I actually finish something of my own. If I do that then I know I can finish something.

That's an achievement.

the first day of spring

Today is Spring. I have to mention that it definitely doesn't feel like Spring. For the most part of today I was absolutely FREEZING! This makes no sense. Weather is annoying. I was out all weekend and the weather was great. It was sunny and hot and I was wearing shorts and a shirt for most of it. It was all summer like. I miss Summer. I was disappointed in January when I departed to the Land of Little Summers and it just happened to be 40 degrees here and like 4 over there. By the way, that's England I'm talking about. Just in case you didn't know...

The essence of Spring is amazing. That makes no sense, it was technically Winter then...

FRIENDS

because friends should always be friends

I took part in the Write a Book in a Day competition yesterday. It's a competition which requires a group of people to sit and plan, write and bind a book in 12 hours. I did this in year eight and I would call it fun. This year was a lot harder and extremely stressful. I did realise something though. About friends. I have more then one best friend. There anything anything wrong with that. There are people I worked with yesterday who I just love to be around and make jokes with because they care for me and they help me and they love me. Just because they can do that makes them great people to have in my life.

In case you were interested, this is a slightly blurry photo of my new piercing

Bridgette in Quality Comics. She is clutching the Supernatural Survival Kit and Fray. I laugh.

Dear Bridgette the same day, with red hair

teenager moment, it won't pass

I know my blogging has become less frequent and it's probably due to the fact that in order to set my life completely straight I have been ignoring my own philosophical queries. Never mind I suppose. It's probably better to save the blogs for more important issues. Not that this would seem to be a very enlightening one.

Actually, I changed my mind. Yes it is.

I had a very interesting discussion with my parents last night. I declared that Bridgette was getting her hair dyed and cut short. They were horrified by the news, basically because they reckoned she was going to ruin her hair and all that and if she hated it would be permanent blah blah blah. Which of course led to the debate on whether I should get my hair dyed or not. See, I want blonde hair. It's just a thing. I had really blond hair when I was little but it must have just grown out after I cut it all off when I was 7. Now it's kind of a light browny colour. I don't mind it, there are worse colours to have but its common. I feel a sense of normality. Father said last night that I shouldn't have to individual because of what look like, but how I act. And that's all well and good and I might be individual and all that but I sure don't feel like it. Like my last post - it's all about what you look like. You can't help it. In this modern society individuality is represented by what you look like. Sometimes it's hard and sometimes it's cruel but I guess I've accepted that that's the way it is.

Father decided that I could try a wash in in December. Just to see what it looks like. I agreed, it's better then nothing. Not that not I'm jealous about Bridgette's hair... it's awesome!

Well after the hair conversation I tried another idea...

'So, can I get my ear pierced?'

It took me a good 8 years to get my ears pierced, meaning the lobes. It's taken me about two years to get the top done. My parents reluctantly decided I could be individual and could get it done. As long as I paid for it myself...so because I'm all inpatient and impulsive and all that, you can well imagine what happened today. It was off to the city to be with Bridgette while she got her hair dyed. I had told her about the ear permission. So after we made her hair appointment we had plenty of time to look for piercing places. I wasn't at all hopeful, all the places I found online were 16+. The hairdresser told us about a place, with turned out to be really creepy. The freaky women with terrible hair and TOO MANY piercings asked skeptically for my age. I said 15 because I was scared of lying and there was the despised shake of the head. So she wouldn't do it for me. Stupid woman. Well the next place we found, only minutes later I may add, was a beauty place that also did professional piercings anywhere so we wandered in, asked about it and five minutes later I was freaking out just seconds away from getting my ear pierced. I got it done all right. Pink! It also only cost me twenty dollars.

Is it sad to say how individual I already feel? Is it sad to say that I'm finally finding me?

No.

2010 may have had some scary moments, some tears, some heartbreak ; but I don't think I've ever felt this happy, this alive, this free. I am in love with living. I love life. I love it.

Epiphany

Today as I was walking through Murdoch Station I had a sudden realisation. The way I live my life is built upon how I look. Every time a train goes past the first thing I see is me. I see my hair and my face and my clothes and I think about all the things wrong with them and I think of all the ways I think I should look like. Or just what I wish I could be.

Modern society has conned young girls like myself to build there own self confidence on their appearance.

Wear that, be her.

It is messing with our minds. We are forced to be these people that don't really exist. We are forced to be perfect. We are forced to be played with. We are forced to stand in front of others and be scrutinised. We are forced to stand and watch others mock our lack of perfection.

You ask yourself, 'What is wrong with girls in our society?' The answer: we've all been unconsciously bought by suppliers. They tease us and hypnotise us with their skin tight clothing and miniskirts. They tell us we should wear this because it will make us look better. But will it really? The saddest thing about this marketing scheme is that most girls can't see it, and most girls just believe it. Because what else can they do just to be accepted?

I have been trapped. I cannot get out. They are coming.

Life is funny, but not ha ha funny

Peculiar I guess.

Yesterday I experienced something I have only experienced either in my mind or on American films. That is I went on an outing with two special friends. Bridgette and Jai. that sounds so simple when I say it like that but honestly it is rare that I can say I have been out with friends, instead of saying, 'I'm going out with Bridgette.' She understands. We did spend the majority of camp last week trying to make more friends. We want to spread our social group but not in a way where we have to be best friends with everyone. Bridgette and I feel apart from the rest, sort of detached and we need to reconnect ourselves. I feel in order to connect to the world we have to connect to the people within it.

I'm finding this a lot harder then I thought it would be since I'm trying to do it without changing my values on life in general. It's confusing at times.

A muscle cramp...in your pants?

Miss Brown thinks I'm too sexual. I laugh at that. Not that naming this post the above at all helps me on bit but you know, Buffy.

This is the first post I've been able to write since arriving back from the wilderness. I stayed there for one night and two days and it was extremely dead-worthy. But of course, beautiful. Well I awoke Thursday morning at 6 o'clock ready and packed to arrive at school by at least 7.15. Father drove me there, and I was soon repacking my extremely large and heavy pack with Bridgette Brown. Then, after a long and laborious but amusing process of chucking the packs in the back seats of the school bus, we were off. To the Bibbulmun Track!

We had great fun getting group shots of us all on the bus. I don't think the teachers were pleased, especially when we all started singing nursery rhymes.



It is probably also true that some of the greatest camp moments were caught on the bus. Sukanya reckoned Bridgette should do a before and after photo of the bus ride. The above two were to be before photos. But, ah, we ran out of memory by the time we were on a bus again...
Still, it was a good idea.

Honestly, the most amusing moments of this camp was how much the teachers sucked. There was this MASSIVE road and they made us cross it in pairs. We all made jokes about having to hold hands and such, but Mr Brown's face (not related to Bridgette) was truly priceless. He is the most expressionless, boring human being I have ever met. I hope he doesn't have a girlfriend. I can't even begin to imagine was he might be like. That was probably one of the only problems about the camp - the teachers lack of enthusiasm. The camp last year with Mr Pilling was great not only becuase you know, school camp and all that, but the teachers made jokes, they had fun and they actually interacted with the students. We played games and made fun of each other but the teachers this year are just so...dull. You wonder why they decide to become teachers.



Another great thing was the scenery and the photography opportunities. If there was way to bring my father's camera, which is fabtabular outdoors, I would have done. Bridgette had a jolly fine time clicking away. Only problem was the memory card wasn't big enough and well...photo opportunities available were not captured with an actual camera. We both retreated to the less great capturing technology - the phone.

I have to thank Bridgette Brown for actually coming out on camp. No, not in a sexual orientation way, in a, "Lets talk and make friends way!" It's amazing how relationships change on school camps. An interesting psychological investigation I think. But I am proud to say that I have made many new friends on this camp (: It's quite sweet. Plus, that photo is just fantastic.

Some brilliant quotes came from the camp. Frances calling her pack Roger, was extremely entertaining. A memorable moment was me asking Bridgette why she was laughing and her saying, "Frances is talking to Roger again."

If anyone is interested, I called my pack Simon, and Bridgette called hers Serenity.

It is also important to note that I was physically injured during that camp and walking around yesterday at home was nearly impossible. My feet have never hurt so much in my life!

It is true, I do love Bridgette Brown.
Without her I would have died.
Everyone would have laughed.

Thank you for saving me from that humiliation.

Dude, did I say harsh your melon?

I have a new love and it happens to be a television show and I just love saying that because it gives people more reason to ignore me. Because you know, I'm cool like that.

Angel is a spin off from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and by the way it is simply hilarious. Of course I know, Joss Whedon is Bridgette's god and I accept that, but he is a genius, I can agree. But a subtle genius. Like you would ask, "So, Joss, why did you do that," and he would answer you directly but not in the way that makes you think he's arrogant and up himself and downright self obsessed because he thinks he's always right. He's just clever and knows what he's talking about and will answer your questions because he knows the answer. If that makes sense?

Point is, he's modest okay?

Tim Burton is always going to be my favourite director though. He is very similar to Joss in the way he thinks and uses his idea's but I think their loves and influences are different. Also Tim Burton I think uses more of a visual art form such as drawings, paintings - things straight from his own head. Joss I think uses idea's more constructively, and follows more of a guide line. I think Joss Whedon is more technical in the way he understands things. That's just what I've learned from them both so far. Mostly from commentary I may add. That's just what it seems like.

Well, my favourite character on Angel at the minute is er...Angel's son Connor. Because he is simply adorable. I think I've watched him get thrown out of a window by The Beast at least twenty times...Aaaaargh, and the thing that bugs me is that he starts coming back at the end of the fifth season and apparently it got cancelled!

STUPID FOX

I am also aware that the reason for him 'coming back' was not explained. But anyway, I'm not going into detail, I won't shut up. My bad...

I have a favourite photo though, And that's the important thing, although the one above^^^ is simply yummy, he he he...

Sorry, just a bit in love with him at the moment. Such is life. I also have a current favourite quote by him, final episode of season 4. Makes me cry.

You can't be saved by a lie,
You can't be saved at all

The first day of freedom and it's also Voldemort's birthday?

The above statement makes none or little sense, it is true. You see at around 6am this morning the parentals departed this city to a land far far away. This leaves I and my brother alone, until Monday night. If I were them I'd be feeling a little worried but well...ah...never mind. I should have told them my blog address and post all of the many wonderful happenings every few minutes but that would probably just cause silly spam. And we don't want that, definitely not.

Well, since then I have watched an episode of Angel, showered, dressed, fed the cats, cleaned up their pee, drank some coffee, put the washing out, turned the washing machine on, downloaded a Matrix screen saver, opened the blinds, brushed my teeth and I won't go on...by the way that was not in order, I was sort of just writing as I remembered, which is a little sad since they only happened between 8.30am and now. Sad little hobbit. Sad indeed.

Want to see my new desktop background?
Of course you do.

Oh, and I want harm you if you don't understand the reference to this photo. It is Supernatural after all. Which remands me I have to ask Bridgette for season 5...

I was telling Bridgette yesterday (Friday the 13th, still haven't changed the stupid time yet...) about how I feel different. I act different, I dress different and I definitely feel different. And I need something to make this change feel right. So, I want to paint my bedroom. It seems rather silly, I know. Like it's not going to change anything, but I want to. I want to define me. These few months I have felt lost, incomplete, like I'm hovering and I can't find the ground. It's as though I'm stumbling forever, never balancing, never finding my way.

I have chosen green. As Bridgette described it, a nice hobbit green. Something like this.
Now, to wait for the dear father to return, and beg him to paint my walls...

It's true, "I am not yet a filmaker, but you're not jedi so there!"

I am the biggest nerd. I like The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Starwars, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel and Terminator. My nickname is Mr Frodo, I call my best friend a hobbit, I constantly reference The Lord of the Rings and think the world is going to be taken over by robots on the 21st of April, 2011.

Everyone at school thinks I'm insane and I just can't work out why.

This week has been extremely eventful. Since the events of Sunday where I spent all day with Bridgette's strange family I have been busy making a movie based on the days events. It turned out being not much of a movie but more like a series of clips to music such as The Starwars Theme, The Angel Theme, Mumford and Sons, Jonsi and Boy & Bear. I swear I have been working on it everyday of the week. See on Monday I believe it was, I found a program on the internet called Windows Movie Maker which every computer in the world probably has apart from mine and well, I kind of figured out how to use it and haven't really done a whole lot else this week.

I would post it but I...don't know how and plus, copyright issues might arise. I did mention all the names of the songs I used but I'm not sure if that's enough, even if this is just a parody almost. Oh well, it was just a practising thing for my future film adventures.

Father thinks I'm going way overboard with the film thing ever since I declared all these film idea's I wanted to hurry up and do. Bridgette has agreed to help me with one we planned to the sounds of Chopin (pronounced Sho-pan, as father likes to remind me). We have all the storyboards and the ideas and all of that, we just need to get up very early and film it. Plus find some people to be in it. We need three charcaters. Gem, the killer, and the pianist (not a reference to the film, although I did discover Chopin after watching it...) and Bridgette herself has offered to be Gem. We have an idea who The Pianist may be, now we just need the killer.

Have I mentioned everything I write lately turns into some horror fest? It's extremely odd. I'm quite concerned.

But then, when am I not?

I'M ALWAYS FUCKING TIRED!

It has been exactly one week since my brother's birthday, which is odd, because he has officially been cursed for exactly one week. Funny, how I haven't really thought about that until now. And I'm in health so that makes no sense.

Someone just said they were tired which is a handy thing to hear because well, you can see by the title, this is a post about being tired. I'm tired, Charlotte is tired, that random person is tired. Everyone is always tired! Well, good reason to be tired. I had one extravagant day yesterday. Apparently I am one good looking vampire and the father of Bridgette's new found crush. Not that I can disagree, he is undeniably adorable. Although I'll always prefer John Connor. He has the hair. Until he cut it all off. Now he has not a whole lot of hair, but oh well. He's still super duperly adorable and just awesome. What with trying to save the world and all that.

Meanwhile, Bridgette's new found crush...

Do a dare delve into the world of Angel? I could, but I'm afraid I may never shut up. Isn't it funny that Angel's son is called Connor and I love a John Connor? Oh, and the actor who plays Connors name is Vincent. He he, makes him cooler because you know, Vincent Price.

THE ABOMINABLE DOCTOR PHIBES!

The last time I tried to upload a photo on the school computers it nearly blew up, I'm not sure I should try again. I suppose I could post some later on...

Being dead is a tragic thing. Especially when you're hungry. And at school. And your feet are cold. And you want to watch Angel and make your mini dramatic movie and edit photo's and sleep and read Harry Potter and eat and sleep and be anywhere but here.

May I add that the idea of school becomes pointless after seven years? We are re-learning everything, wasting precious time we could be using to create art or to save the world or stop world hunger. If we had the choice of continuing with school, I think a lot of people would be happier. Being forced to stay in a place for the best years of your life is ridiculous. They say you have to have 80% attendance each semester but honestly, what are you going to miss that you'll use in your later life.

It's completely barbaric and I just quoted Hermione so I feel cool.

Tornado

You grow, you roar
Although disguised
I know you

You'll learn to know

You grow, you grow like tornado
You grow from the inside
Destroy everything through
Destroy from the inside
Erupt like volcano
You flow through the inside
You kill everything through
You kill from the inside

You'll...
You'll learn to know

I wonder if I'm allowed ever to see
I wonder if I'm allowed to ever be free

You sound so blue
You now are gloom

You're now so blue
You now are gloom

I wonder if I'm allowed just ever to be

New favourite artist,
truly beautiful

What's with all the fucking elephants?

Please excuse the title, I found a photo of me on Myspace yesterday and the caption was the above^^. I thought it seemed adequate. It was either that or a wonderful Joss Whedon quote, inspired by Bridgette Brown herself. I laugh quietly. That reminds me, I need to watch more Buffy...

Oh, and another interesting fact. Adam Baldwin (not related to any of the Baldwin brothers, though probably just as famous) stars in Full Metal Jacket, an interesting take on Vietnam, made in 1987 I also discovered yesterday. Well the funny thing is that Adam Baldwin also stars in Joss Whedon's Firefly a slight obsession of Miss Brown and I and well, this song popped into my head: Click here.

I'm writing again. I know I've said that loads of times but I actually kind of am. I wrote a few pages the other day for an old idea of mine. I can't remember if I've discussed it before? Well, it's similar in the ways of a magical school to Harry Potter, I do know that. But since it's near impossible to get an original idea these days, you'll have to forgive me. Anyway it's different. I'm trying to base it on different aspects of magic, similar to that on Buffy. Complicated spells and circles of blood, that sort of thing.

Well not exactly, but whatever...

I'm trying to become inspired by art as well. I have a How to Draw Fantasy Landscapes and Cityscapes book which I've had for forever. It's very handy, even though I'm crap at art.

I could only find a small version of this piece which is extremely disappointing.
Stupid google images. There was Harry Potter, Twilight and True Blood. But nothing that I wanted at this very second. Anyway, if I wanted to include some period scene involving vampires or a similar creature to vampires, this would be how I would imagine it. The light is perfect. One thing I hate about my art is I just can't do light. It just doesn't work. I get lucky in photography and film sometimes but ugh! It's very annoying.

Oh, and I never new this was book. That's extremely odd as well. Thought I'd point that out.


The next image doesn't have anything to do with anything.I just like it. It's from a 1940's film called Shadow of a Doubt and well, it's just awesome. You can't deny it. It also has nothing to do with anything but what the heck, I couldn't care less.

It actually reminds me that of late, I and Bridgette have not had a movie night recently. Did I tell you my current life ambition is to become a successful film maker? No, well okay.

Sorry for the lack of philosophy thinking of late. I just haven't been in the mood. But I do love art. As in, actually love it. And whoever captured this is just pure genius.

Photography

Please excuse me my while I cough up my -

Oh, I'm sorry, I almost said a dirty word. That's not good at all. Apparently saying dirty words is bad for your health. Well, I know you shouldn't say them, especially little kids and short people, but I kind of doubt that rumour.

By the way, that was the beginning of what could of been a lengthily rant about a certain someone at my school. I won't tell you the name, but she really peeves me off nowadays, especially now that shes -

Won't tell you that. Might give it away.

I was at Bridgette's place today so she could borrow my father's camera for our photography assignment. It was very dramatic and it was a little awkward. She was trying to get photos of her little sister Eleanor but it turned out to be much more difficult then planned as they began fighting and yelling and eventually Eleanor burst into tears. Today must have just been a bad day.

We're trying again on Saturday since I'm staying over. A night full of movies and ginger beer methinks.

Have I ever mentioned that Eleanor is one of the most beautiful people I have ever met? She's mine and Bridgette's Piper.

Don't you just love reading things and having no clue what they're about?

Here's some photo's I did for my assignment. It's supposed to be from the point of view of an inanimate object. I chose a mirror.We had to take a series of photographs telling a story from the eyes of that objects. These aren't edited, just warning you.

The nerdy student arrives home from school. Like all teenagers, she examines her imperfections in the mirror.



Slowly, she turns from a typical nerd, to a slightly...less nerdy teenager.

She gets ready for the party tonight.



Gosh, what to wear!

Sorry about the lack of philosophical knowledge tonight. I didn't have much enlightening remarks to say. I tried to explain to someone that God is dead yesterday. He didn't quite believe me, insisting that God was still around. I described that the great philosopher Nietzsche said this and he declared he had no idea who this person was and went on about all these religion like people. I walked away.

May your August be filled with good omens and devoid of unlucky circus clowns

I have a read-worthy article for the world to read.

Please read.

Enlightened by the concept of the month of August, I was quite surprised to discover the article. And also had to laugh at the names. Gaius Octavius.

Ba ha ha ha ha!

Immature moment. It passed.

Strangely enough today doesn't feel like August. Yesterday didn't feel like August. The only reason I know it's August today is because it's my brother's 19th birthday, the 2nd of August. I miss July. July is always a sunny month. That makes no sense, it's the middle of Winter.

Thinking about seasons, it's Spring soon, the end of the year soon, Christmas soon, year 11 soon. The end of the world soon. Nine months until Judgement Day. I've been laughed at and mocked for my views on the end of the world. They don't believe it is inevitable.

Accepted that the world is going to end early is a good thing I believe. It's an odd thing though, because even though I believe it will happen I still make plans for the future, I still tell myself I'm going to see these places and do these things.

Am I in denial?

Or lying.

I thought this was entertaining. School bores me.

On the 1st of March, On the holiday

I know, I know the title is all wrong. Today is not the 1st of March, today is the 1st of August, a fact I only realised a few seconds ago. I would also like to mention that I forgot to post an announcement for Harry Potter's birthday yesterday, and Neville's on Friday. Neville Longbottom people. 30th of July, don't forget it. Still on the topic of Harry Potter, my father told me today that his cousin recently set up a projector in his theatre room. I nodded mock-enthusiastically of course. But it turns out he has never seen the Harry Potter series nor read the books. I was completely baffled!

Excuse my English, I'm in a literary mood.

Apparently he 'got out' the first three movies to watch with his kids. Father confused him by asking about Quidditch and pondering if he would be in Slytherin or not. I laughed.

I don't know if I mentioned this before but I am currently re-reading the Harry Potter series in honour of the countdown to the final set of films. Part 1 comes out in theatres November 18th. Was 19th. Thank god they changed it! It is brothers 19th birthday tomorrow and I think I lightened the mood by explaining how much I hate the number. I wasn't trying to ruin the mood or anything, but it's like people cowering on the thirteenth. I just hate it. No other explanations. End of story.

In case anyone was wondering Harry is in the Chamber of Secrets, separated from Ron but yet to meet Tom Marvolo Riddle.

Sorry for any spoilers. I'm enthusiastic about such things.

I saw a very wonderful film today. Inception staring Leonardo Di Caprio and the beautiful Ellen Page. A funny thing. With something as popular as Juno was you would think that Ellen Page is a little one faced. Not in a bad way but I saw a glimpse of Smart People and to me the character she was playing there compared to that in Juno was similar. But in Inception she was brilliant. A strong, stubborn but genius of a girl she plays a character I actually can't remember the name of. My bad. It began with an A. Anyway, she was an Architect. She designed Dream Worlds in which Extractors extracted information from people's minds. Not going to explain it but lets just say it was a plot about a so called job, intertwined with this man (Leonardo Di Caprio) struggling to accept the loss of his confused wife who he ruined, not intentionally. But throughout the film, helped by Ellen Page's character, he he haunted by her presence in his mind but he deals with it. Finally, four layers deep into the dream world.

It's a truly beautiful film and some beautiful writing. I suggest it to everyone who loves not only visual beauty but spoken beauty as well.

In a writing mood. How strange

I will be honest. I haven't been writing all these days, and definitely not constantly in more then a year. I've had a few bursts, but lately I've been thinking about other things like film, scripts and general ughness. That being school. But I am feeling quite proud because I have an urge. It's amazing this thing I'm feeling. I feel as though I can write again. At least I'm thinking about writing. That's a sure sign of something new. I know my epic novel idea kind of failed. I can admit that. But I think it was just too average of me. It wasn't getting the right message across. In fact, that's probably because I didn't know what that message was. Perhaps in a later time I will know. There are almost hundreds of idea's that I've had in this lifetime and I don't think I've forgotten them. they still exist on scraps around the place. I find them all the time. It's good fun.

Reading Harry Potter once more has enlightened me to an old and magical idea I once had. I planned thoroughly for it last September and then kind of, left it. But now, after finding the majority of my notes I have decided to try again. I like it, the feeling I mentioned before. It's almost like I'm back to being me again. I've missed being well and truly me. I know I've changed a bit, what with the film and the way I'm acting and general school and all that but there has been a part of me that I know will never change that has been missing. It's been lost in the back of my head.

I think I may have found it, but I cannot be sure. I'm never sure these days, I don't hope. I just think. Sometimes they happen, sometimes they don't. I getting better at guessing, but that eventually leads to hope which I'm trying to avoid. I'm getting my life back on track. It's about time. It's getting better. I just need to practice.

My mother should read this. She'd reconsider her opinions about my life.
At least, she should.

Extra information

A hare one day ridiculed the short feet and slow pace of the Tortoise, who replied, laughing: "Though you be swift as the wind, I will beat you in a race." The Hare, believing his assertion to be simply impossible, assented to the proposal; and they agreed that the Fox should choose the course and fix the goal. On the day appointed for the race the two started together. The Tortoise never for a moment stopped, but went on with a slow but steady pace straight to the end of the course. The Hare, lying down by the wayside, fell fast asleep. At last waking up, and moving as fast as he could, he saw the Tortoise had reached the goal, and was comfortably dozing after his fatigue.


Don't tell me what you don't know. Don't pretend to understand. Don't look at my eyes and say what it really is. Don't say the truth. Don't lie. Please, just stop talking.

the tortoise

Spies

Enlightened by many things today

Coldplay

STRAWBERRY SWING!



J.K. Rowling

HARRY POTTER



BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

Although, in the case of school work, I am a non succeeding failure because I flunked one maths test. I got told that there are rules in this house and I am to follow them. I will graduate high school with flying colours and I will get a place at university. I will? Will I? I don't even know
if I want to. I read on a card my English teacher handed to me today and apparently I am part of the Gifted and Talented Program. How can I be part of this program if I don't necessarily feel gifted and talented. What does that even mean?

I've been told my entire life that I am smart and gifted and great and blah blah blah. But I really don't think I am. My mother tells me I will be top of the class. What if I don't want to be. I really don't think my fate rests on me being the top of maths class, surely. It can't, that's pretty darn impossible.

Irony is a nifty thing. Thinking that this year is going rather great has jinxed the eventual outcome. Something terrible is going to happen. I can feel it. I'm going mad. I can hear things in my head. I can sense something is coming. It's not a maths test, I'm sure of that. And it's not Judgement Day, not yet.

It's fate. I'm never going to escape. I'm stuck here. Forever.

I'm stuck in my head.