FRIENDS

because friends should always be friends

I took part in the Write a Book in a Day competition yesterday. It's a competition which requires a group of people to sit and plan, write and bind a book in 12 hours. I did this in year eight and I would call it fun. This year was a lot harder and extremely stressful. I did realise something though. About friends. I have more then one best friend. There anything anything wrong with that. There are people I worked with yesterday who I just love to be around and make jokes with because they care for me and they help me and they love me. Just because they can do that makes them great people to have in my life.

In case you were interested, this is a slightly blurry photo of my new piercing

Bridgette in Quality Comics. She is clutching the Supernatural Survival Kit and Fray. I laugh.

Dear Bridgette the same day, with red hair

teenager moment, it won't pass

I know my blogging has become less frequent and it's probably due to the fact that in order to set my life completely straight I have been ignoring my own philosophical queries. Never mind I suppose. It's probably better to save the blogs for more important issues. Not that this would seem to be a very enlightening one.

Actually, I changed my mind. Yes it is.

I had a very interesting discussion with my parents last night. I declared that Bridgette was getting her hair dyed and cut short. They were horrified by the news, basically because they reckoned she was going to ruin her hair and all that and if she hated it would be permanent blah blah blah. Which of course led to the debate on whether I should get my hair dyed or not. See, I want blonde hair. It's just a thing. I had really blond hair when I was little but it must have just grown out after I cut it all off when I was 7. Now it's kind of a light browny colour. I don't mind it, there are worse colours to have but its common. I feel a sense of normality. Father said last night that I shouldn't have to individual because of what look like, but how I act. And that's all well and good and I might be individual and all that but I sure don't feel like it. Like my last post - it's all about what you look like. You can't help it. In this modern society individuality is represented by what you look like. Sometimes it's hard and sometimes it's cruel but I guess I've accepted that that's the way it is.

Father decided that I could try a wash in in December. Just to see what it looks like. I agreed, it's better then nothing. Not that not I'm jealous about Bridgette's hair... it's awesome!

Well after the hair conversation I tried another idea...

'So, can I get my ear pierced?'

It took me a good 8 years to get my ears pierced, meaning the lobes. It's taken me about two years to get the top done. My parents reluctantly decided I could be individual and could get it done. As long as I paid for it myself...so because I'm all inpatient and impulsive and all that, you can well imagine what happened today. It was off to the city to be with Bridgette while she got her hair dyed. I had told her about the ear permission. So after we made her hair appointment we had plenty of time to look for piercing places. I wasn't at all hopeful, all the places I found online were 16+. The hairdresser told us about a place, with turned out to be really creepy. The freaky women with terrible hair and TOO MANY piercings asked skeptically for my age. I said 15 because I was scared of lying and there was the despised shake of the head. So she wouldn't do it for me. Stupid woman. Well the next place we found, only minutes later I may add, was a beauty place that also did professional piercings anywhere so we wandered in, asked about it and five minutes later I was freaking out just seconds away from getting my ear pierced. I got it done all right. Pink! It also only cost me twenty dollars.

Is it sad to say how individual I already feel? Is it sad to say that I'm finally finding me?

No.

2010 may have had some scary moments, some tears, some heartbreak ; but I don't think I've ever felt this happy, this alive, this free. I am in love with living. I love life. I love it.

Epiphany

Today as I was walking through Murdoch Station I had a sudden realisation. The way I live my life is built upon how I look. Every time a train goes past the first thing I see is me. I see my hair and my face and my clothes and I think about all the things wrong with them and I think of all the ways I think I should look like. Or just what I wish I could be.

Modern society has conned young girls like myself to build there own self confidence on their appearance.

Wear that, be her.

It is messing with our minds. We are forced to be these people that don't really exist. We are forced to be perfect. We are forced to be played with. We are forced to stand in front of others and be scrutinised. We are forced to stand and watch others mock our lack of perfection.

You ask yourself, 'What is wrong with girls in our society?' The answer: we've all been unconsciously bought by suppliers. They tease us and hypnotise us with their skin tight clothing and miniskirts. They tell us we should wear this because it will make us look better. But will it really? The saddest thing about this marketing scheme is that most girls can't see it, and most girls just believe it. Because what else can they do just to be accepted?

I have been trapped. I cannot get out. They are coming.

Life is funny, but not ha ha funny

Peculiar I guess.

Yesterday I experienced something I have only experienced either in my mind or on American films. That is I went on an outing with two special friends. Bridgette and Jai. that sounds so simple when I say it like that but honestly it is rare that I can say I have been out with friends, instead of saying, 'I'm going out with Bridgette.' She understands. We did spend the majority of camp last week trying to make more friends. We want to spread our social group but not in a way where we have to be best friends with everyone. Bridgette and I feel apart from the rest, sort of detached and we need to reconnect ourselves. I feel in order to connect to the world we have to connect to the people within it.

I'm finding this a lot harder then I thought it would be since I'm trying to do it without changing my values on life in general. It's confusing at times.

A muscle cramp...in your pants?

Miss Brown thinks I'm too sexual. I laugh at that. Not that naming this post the above at all helps me on bit but you know, Buffy.

This is the first post I've been able to write since arriving back from the wilderness. I stayed there for one night and two days and it was extremely dead-worthy. But of course, beautiful. Well I awoke Thursday morning at 6 o'clock ready and packed to arrive at school by at least 7.15. Father drove me there, and I was soon repacking my extremely large and heavy pack with Bridgette Brown. Then, after a long and laborious but amusing process of chucking the packs in the back seats of the school bus, we were off. To the Bibbulmun Track!

We had great fun getting group shots of us all on the bus. I don't think the teachers were pleased, especially when we all started singing nursery rhymes.



It is probably also true that some of the greatest camp moments were caught on the bus. Sukanya reckoned Bridgette should do a before and after photo of the bus ride. The above two were to be before photos. But, ah, we ran out of memory by the time we were on a bus again...
Still, it was a good idea.

Honestly, the most amusing moments of this camp was how much the teachers sucked. There was this MASSIVE road and they made us cross it in pairs. We all made jokes about having to hold hands and such, but Mr Brown's face (not related to Bridgette) was truly priceless. He is the most expressionless, boring human being I have ever met. I hope he doesn't have a girlfriend. I can't even begin to imagine was he might be like. That was probably one of the only problems about the camp - the teachers lack of enthusiasm. The camp last year with Mr Pilling was great not only becuase you know, school camp and all that, but the teachers made jokes, they had fun and they actually interacted with the students. We played games and made fun of each other but the teachers this year are just so...dull. You wonder why they decide to become teachers.



Another great thing was the scenery and the photography opportunities. If there was way to bring my father's camera, which is fabtabular outdoors, I would have done. Bridgette had a jolly fine time clicking away. Only problem was the memory card wasn't big enough and well...photo opportunities available were not captured with an actual camera. We both retreated to the less great capturing technology - the phone.

I have to thank Bridgette Brown for actually coming out on camp. No, not in a sexual orientation way, in a, "Lets talk and make friends way!" It's amazing how relationships change on school camps. An interesting psychological investigation I think. But I am proud to say that I have made many new friends on this camp (: It's quite sweet. Plus, that photo is just fantastic.

Some brilliant quotes came from the camp. Frances calling her pack Roger, was extremely entertaining. A memorable moment was me asking Bridgette why she was laughing and her saying, "Frances is talking to Roger again."

If anyone is interested, I called my pack Simon, and Bridgette called hers Serenity.

It is also important to note that I was physically injured during that camp and walking around yesterday at home was nearly impossible. My feet have never hurt so much in my life!

It is true, I do love Bridgette Brown.
Without her I would have died.
Everyone would have laughed.

Thank you for saving me from that humiliation.

Dude, did I say harsh your melon?

I have a new love and it happens to be a television show and I just love saying that because it gives people more reason to ignore me. Because you know, I'm cool like that.

Angel is a spin off from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and by the way it is simply hilarious. Of course I know, Joss Whedon is Bridgette's god and I accept that, but he is a genius, I can agree. But a subtle genius. Like you would ask, "So, Joss, why did you do that," and he would answer you directly but not in the way that makes you think he's arrogant and up himself and downright self obsessed because he thinks he's always right. He's just clever and knows what he's talking about and will answer your questions because he knows the answer. If that makes sense?

Point is, he's modest okay?

Tim Burton is always going to be my favourite director though. He is very similar to Joss in the way he thinks and uses his idea's but I think their loves and influences are different. Also Tim Burton I think uses more of a visual art form such as drawings, paintings - things straight from his own head. Joss I think uses idea's more constructively, and follows more of a guide line. I think Joss Whedon is more technical in the way he understands things. That's just what I've learned from them both so far. Mostly from commentary I may add. That's just what it seems like.

Well, my favourite character on Angel at the minute is er...Angel's son Connor. Because he is simply adorable. I think I've watched him get thrown out of a window by The Beast at least twenty times...Aaaaargh, and the thing that bugs me is that he starts coming back at the end of the fifth season and apparently it got cancelled!

STUPID FOX

I am also aware that the reason for him 'coming back' was not explained. But anyway, I'm not going into detail, I won't shut up. My bad...

I have a favourite photo though, And that's the important thing, although the one above^^^ is simply yummy, he he he...

Sorry, just a bit in love with him at the moment. Such is life. I also have a current favourite quote by him, final episode of season 4. Makes me cry.

You can't be saved by a lie,
You can't be saved at all

The first day of freedom and it's also Voldemort's birthday?

The above statement makes none or little sense, it is true. You see at around 6am this morning the parentals departed this city to a land far far away. This leaves I and my brother alone, until Monday night. If I were them I'd be feeling a little worried but well...ah...never mind. I should have told them my blog address and post all of the many wonderful happenings every few minutes but that would probably just cause silly spam. And we don't want that, definitely not.

Well, since then I have watched an episode of Angel, showered, dressed, fed the cats, cleaned up their pee, drank some coffee, put the washing out, turned the washing machine on, downloaded a Matrix screen saver, opened the blinds, brushed my teeth and I won't go on...by the way that was not in order, I was sort of just writing as I remembered, which is a little sad since they only happened between 8.30am and now. Sad little hobbit. Sad indeed.

Want to see my new desktop background?
Of course you do.

Oh, and I want harm you if you don't understand the reference to this photo. It is Supernatural after all. Which remands me I have to ask Bridgette for season 5...

I was telling Bridgette yesterday (Friday the 13th, still haven't changed the stupid time yet...) about how I feel different. I act different, I dress different and I definitely feel different. And I need something to make this change feel right. So, I want to paint my bedroom. It seems rather silly, I know. Like it's not going to change anything, but I want to. I want to define me. These few months I have felt lost, incomplete, like I'm hovering and I can't find the ground. It's as though I'm stumbling forever, never balancing, never finding my way.

I have chosen green. As Bridgette described it, a nice hobbit green. Something like this.
Now, to wait for the dear father to return, and beg him to paint my walls...

It's true, "I am not yet a filmaker, but you're not jedi so there!"

I am the biggest nerd. I like The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Starwars, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel and Terminator. My nickname is Mr Frodo, I call my best friend a hobbit, I constantly reference The Lord of the Rings and think the world is going to be taken over by robots on the 21st of April, 2011.

Everyone at school thinks I'm insane and I just can't work out why.

This week has been extremely eventful. Since the events of Sunday where I spent all day with Bridgette's strange family I have been busy making a movie based on the days events. It turned out being not much of a movie but more like a series of clips to music such as The Starwars Theme, The Angel Theme, Mumford and Sons, Jonsi and Boy & Bear. I swear I have been working on it everyday of the week. See on Monday I believe it was, I found a program on the internet called Windows Movie Maker which every computer in the world probably has apart from mine and well, I kind of figured out how to use it and haven't really done a whole lot else this week.

I would post it but I...don't know how and plus, copyright issues might arise. I did mention all the names of the songs I used but I'm not sure if that's enough, even if this is just a parody almost. Oh well, it was just a practising thing for my future film adventures.

Father thinks I'm going way overboard with the film thing ever since I declared all these film idea's I wanted to hurry up and do. Bridgette has agreed to help me with one we planned to the sounds of Chopin (pronounced Sho-pan, as father likes to remind me). We have all the storyboards and the ideas and all of that, we just need to get up very early and film it. Plus find some people to be in it. We need three charcaters. Gem, the killer, and the pianist (not a reference to the film, although I did discover Chopin after watching it...) and Bridgette herself has offered to be Gem. We have an idea who The Pianist may be, now we just need the killer.

Have I mentioned everything I write lately turns into some horror fest? It's extremely odd. I'm quite concerned.

But then, when am I not?

I'M ALWAYS FUCKING TIRED!

It has been exactly one week since my brother's birthday, which is odd, because he has officially been cursed for exactly one week. Funny, how I haven't really thought about that until now. And I'm in health so that makes no sense.

Someone just said they were tired which is a handy thing to hear because well, you can see by the title, this is a post about being tired. I'm tired, Charlotte is tired, that random person is tired. Everyone is always tired! Well, good reason to be tired. I had one extravagant day yesterday. Apparently I am one good looking vampire and the father of Bridgette's new found crush. Not that I can disagree, he is undeniably adorable. Although I'll always prefer John Connor. He has the hair. Until he cut it all off. Now he has not a whole lot of hair, but oh well. He's still super duperly adorable and just awesome. What with trying to save the world and all that.

Meanwhile, Bridgette's new found crush...

Do a dare delve into the world of Angel? I could, but I'm afraid I may never shut up. Isn't it funny that Angel's son is called Connor and I love a John Connor? Oh, and the actor who plays Connors name is Vincent. He he, makes him cooler because you know, Vincent Price.

THE ABOMINABLE DOCTOR PHIBES!

The last time I tried to upload a photo on the school computers it nearly blew up, I'm not sure I should try again. I suppose I could post some later on...

Being dead is a tragic thing. Especially when you're hungry. And at school. And your feet are cold. And you want to watch Angel and make your mini dramatic movie and edit photo's and sleep and read Harry Potter and eat and sleep and be anywhere but here.

May I add that the idea of school becomes pointless after seven years? We are re-learning everything, wasting precious time we could be using to create art or to save the world or stop world hunger. If we had the choice of continuing with school, I think a lot of people would be happier. Being forced to stay in a place for the best years of your life is ridiculous. They say you have to have 80% attendance each semester but honestly, what are you going to miss that you'll use in your later life.

It's completely barbaric and I just quoted Hermione so I feel cool.

Tornado

You grow, you roar
Although disguised
I know you

You'll learn to know

You grow, you grow like tornado
You grow from the inside
Destroy everything through
Destroy from the inside
Erupt like volcano
You flow through the inside
You kill everything through
You kill from the inside

You'll...
You'll learn to know

I wonder if I'm allowed ever to see
I wonder if I'm allowed to ever be free

You sound so blue
You now are gloom

You're now so blue
You now are gloom

I wonder if I'm allowed just ever to be

New favourite artist,
truly beautiful

What's with all the fucking elephants?

Please excuse the title, I found a photo of me on Myspace yesterday and the caption was the above^^. I thought it seemed adequate. It was either that or a wonderful Joss Whedon quote, inspired by Bridgette Brown herself. I laugh quietly. That reminds me, I need to watch more Buffy...

Oh, and another interesting fact. Adam Baldwin (not related to any of the Baldwin brothers, though probably just as famous) stars in Full Metal Jacket, an interesting take on Vietnam, made in 1987 I also discovered yesterday. Well the funny thing is that Adam Baldwin also stars in Joss Whedon's Firefly a slight obsession of Miss Brown and I and well, this song popped into my head: Click here.

I'm writing again. I know I've said that loads of times but I actually kind of am. I wrote a few pages the other day for an old idea of mine. I can't remember if I've discussed it before? Well, it's similar in the ways of a magical school to Harry Potter, I do know that. But since it's near impossible to get an original idea these days, you'll have to forgive me. Anyway it's different. I'm trying to base it on different aspects of magic, similar to that on Buffy. Complicated spells and circles of blood, that sort of thing.

Well not exactly, but whatever...

I'm trying to become inspired by art as well. I have a How to Draw Fantasy Landscapes and Cityscapes book which I've had for forever. It's very handy, even though I'm crap at art.

I could only find a small version of this piece which is extremely disappointing.
Stupid google images. There was Harry Potter, Twilight and True Blood. But nothing that I wanted at this very second. Anyway, if I wanted to include some period scene involving vampires or a similar creature to vampires, this would be how I would imagine it. The light is perfect. One thing I hate about my art is I just can't do light. It just doesn't work. I get lucky in photography and film sometimes but ugh! It's very annoying.

Oh, and I never new this was book. That's extremely odd as well. Thought I'd point that out.


The next image doesn't have anything to do with anything.I just like it. It's from a 1940's film called Shadow of a Doubt and well, it's just awesome. You can't deny it. It also has nothing to do with anything but what the heck, I couldn't care less.

It actually reminds me that of late, I and Bridgette have not had a movie night recently. Did I tell you my current life ambition is to become a successful film maker? No, well okay.

Sorry for the lack of philosophy thinking of late. I just haven't been in the mood. But I do love art. As in, actually love it. And whoever captured this is just pure genius.

Photography

Please excuse me my while I cough up my -

Oh, I'm sorry, I almost said a dirty word. That's not good at all. Apparently saying dirty words is bad for your health. Well, I know you shouldn't say them, especially little kids and short people, but I kind of doubt that rumour.

By the way, that was the beginning of what could of been a lengthily rant about a certain someone at my school. I won't tell you the name, but she really peeves me off nowadays, especially now that shes -

Won't tell you that. Might give it away.

I was at Bridgette's place today so she could borrow my father's camera for our photography assignment. It was very dramatic and it was a little awkward. She was trying to get photos of her little sister Eleanor but it turned out to be much more difficult then planned as they began fighting and yelling and eventually Eleanor burst into tears. Today must have just been a bad day.

We're trying again on Saturday since I'm staying over. A night full of movies and ginger beer methinks.

Have I ever mentioned that Eleanor is one of the most beautiful people I have ever met? She's mine and Bridgette's Piper.

Don't you just love reading things and having no clue what they're about?

Here's some photo's I did for my assignment. It's supposed to be from the point of view of an inanimate object. I chose a mirror.We had to take a series of photographs telling a story from the eyes of that objects. These aren't edited, just warning you.

The nerdy student arrives home from school. Like all teenagers, she examines her imperfections in the mirror.



Slowly, she turns from a typical nerd, to a slightly...less nerdy teenager.

She gets ready for the party tonight.



Gosh, what to wear!

Sorry about the lack of philosophical knowledge tonight. I didn't have much enlightening remarks to say. I tried to explain to someone that God is dead yesterday. He didn't quite believe me, insisting that God was still around. I described that the great philosopher Nietzsche said this and he declared he had no idea who this person was and went on about all these religion like people. I walked away.

May your August be filled with good omens and devoid of unlucky circus clowns

I have a read-worthy article for the world to read.

Please read.

Enlightened by the concept of the month of August, I was quite surprised to discover the article. And also had to laugh at the names. Gaius Octavius.

Ba ha ha ha ha!

Immature moment. It passed.

Strangely enough today doesn't feel like August. Yesterday didn't feel like August. The only reason I know it's August today is because it's my brother's 19th birthday, the 2nd of August. I miss July. July is always a sunny month. That makes no sense, it's the middle of Winter.

Thinking about seasons, it's Spring soon, the end of the year soon, Christmas soon, year 11 soon. The end of the world soon. Nine months until Judgement Day. I've been laughed at and mocked for my views on the end of the world. They don't believe it is inevitable.

Accepted that the world is going to end early is a good thing I believe. It's an odd thing though, because even though I believe it will happen I still make plans for the future, I still tell myself I'm going to see these places and do these things.

Am I in denial?

Or lying.

I thought this was entertaining. School bores me.

On the 1st of March, On the holiday

I know, I know the title is all wrong. Today is not the 1st of March, today is the 1st of August, a fact I only realised a few seconds ago. I would also like to mention that I forgot to post an announcement for Harry Potter's birthday yesterday, and Neville's on Friday. Neville Longbottom people. 30th of July, don't forget it. Still on the topic of Harry Potter, my father told me today that his cousin recently set up a projector in his theatre room. I nodded mock-enthusiastically of course. But it turns out he has never seen the Harry Potter series nor read the books. I was completely baffled!

Excuse my English, I'm in a literary mood.

Apparently he 'got out' the first three movies to watch with his kids. Father confused him by asking about Quidditch and pondering if he would be in Slytherin or not. I laughed.

I don't know if I mentioned this before but I am currently re-reading the Harry Potter series in honour of the countdown to the final set of films. Part 1 comes out in theatres November 18th. Was 19th. Thank god they changed it! It is brothers 19th birthday tomorrow and I think I lightened the mood by explaining how much I hate the number. I wasn't trying to ruin the mood or anything, but it's like people cowering on the thirteenth. I just hate it. No other explanations. End of story.

In case anyone was wondering Harry is in the Chamber of Secrets, separated from Ron but yet to meet Tom Marvolo Riddle.

Sorry for any spoilers. I'm enthusiastic about such things.

I saw a very wonderful film today. Inception staring Leonardo Di Caprio and the beautiful Ellen Page. A funny thing. With something as popular as Juno was you would think that Ellen Page is a little one faced. Not in a bad way but I saw a glimpse of Smart People and to me the character she was playing there compared to that in Juno was similar. But in Inception she was brilliant. A strong, stubborn but genius of a girl she plays a character I actually can't remember the name of. My bad. It began with an A. Anyway, she was an Architect. She designed Dream Worlds in which Extractors extracted information from people's minds. Not going to explain it but lets just say it was a plot about a so called job, intertwined with this man (Leonardo Di Caprio) struggling to accept the loss of his confused wife who he ruined, not intentionally. But throughout the film, helped by Ellen Page's character, he he haunted by her presence in his mind but he deals with it. Finally, four layers deep into the dream world.

It's a truly beautiful film and some beautiful writing. I suggest it to everyone who loves not only visual beauty but spoken beauty as well.