Limited posts, for that I am sorry

I know I've bee a tad quiet these past weeks. Well, very quiet since this is the first time I've posted something in well...12 days. I guess I've been a bit preoccupied with school and people and the whole life in general. Honestly I didn't think how much I wanted school to end until Bridgette mentioned it. Every week seems to be getting longer and everyday slower. I'm thinking about year 11 and the future and what happens if I fail.

Failure is a common thing. It happens a lot. A great man told me on Wednesday that he wished he could be the one of those kinds of people who don't give up, who keep going. And he became that person. I'm thinking about that too. I can't remember what his name was but he lost both his legs in a car accident when he was 17 and now says he couldn't be happier. Not because he lost his legs but because he realised how great life can be.

I also watched a video yesterday night. This book series Skulduggery Pleasant is being made into a very low budget film by a tiny company called Treestump Films. Which I may add is just an adorable name. But anyway I watched an interview with the writer, director and editor, and two fellow actors and discovered that he is only twelve years old! Isn't it odd how when I was around his age, or maybe just a tad younger, my first sparks of creativity emerged. I began writing and reading; I became interested in photography and of late, I've become extremely interested in film to the point where I have decided it to be a worthy career. I think film is great for me because I can be creative but also express kinds of emotion I don't feel like I an express. Film is just a story where you see expression right in front of you rather then trying to imagine it. I guess it's great for people who have never felt a particular emotion before and can't picture what it might look like. I think this the reason I love art as well because sometimes I have trouble recognising emotions and figuring out what they mean. Film helps me do that.

After watching the interview I immediately brought up a rather old idea myself and Bridgette came up with over six months ago at a party in Mossman Park. It's a simple idea really if you can get through to the audience what it means and also if we were to shoot it (that is if I can finish writing it) we'd be able to do at school. Which you know, helps because I always picture scenes there. I created an entire death scene with the help of Bridgette and an old friend, Charlotte, to our music department. So we'd have to film it there otherwise it would make no sense.

Anyway I found another more personal project today which I based in Fremantle. It's a comedy about young people trying to be young people mixed in with the idea of young love. I was told by my brother yesterday at dinner that I think as though I'm older then I am. This touched me in a nice way. It's one the nicest things someone has said to me in a long time basically because I knew it, I just didn't know what it was. Well, since I've devised an entire scene for that project as well, to the sounds of Eels, I think I should definitely keep writing. Also I want to continue with How I Live Now but probably after I actually finish something of my own. If I do that then I know I can finish something.

That's an achievement.

In a writing mood. How strange

I will be honest. I haven't been writing all these days, and definitely not constantly in more then a year. I've had a few bursts, but lately I've been thinking about other things like film, scripts and general ughness. That being school. But I am feeling quite proud because I have an urge. It's amazing this thing I'm feeling. I feel as though I can write again. At least I'm thinking about writing. That's a sure sign of something new. I know my epic novel idea kind of failed. I can admit that. But I think it was just too average of me. It wasn't getting the right message across. In fact, that's probably because I didn't know what that message was. Perhaps in a later time I will know. There are almost hundreds of idea's that I've had in this lifetime and I don't think I've forgotten them. they still exist on scraps around the place. I find them all the time. It's good fun.

Reading Harry Potter once more has enlightened me to an old and magical idea I once had. I planned thoroughly for it last September and then kind of, left it. But now, after finding the majority of my notes I have decided to try again. I like it, the feeling I mentioned before. It's almost like I'm back to being me again. I've missed being well and truly me. I know I've changed a bit, what with the film and the way I'm acting and general school and all that but there has been a part of me that I know will never change that has been missing. It's been lost in the back of my head.

I think I may have found it, but I cannot be sure. I'm never sure these days, I don't hope. I just think. Sometimes they happen, sometimes they don't. I getting better at guessing, but that eventually leads to hope which I'm trying to avoid. I'm getting my life back on track. It's about time. It's getting better. I just need to practice.

My mother should read this. She'd reconsider her opinions about my life.
At least, she should.

Age should not be taken for granted

Today I ask the world: Is today different?

The answer? I am beyond answering. It is impossible to describe the thoughts of age through English words, or any words. It is an odd feeling, I can say that. I've never really thought about age in this way before. As though it is limited and birthday's shall soon be gone. Perhaps it's just because I'm realising that I'm actually growing up, and this is it.

No more brooding, now is a time for celebration, I think? Would I be predictable if I said I had stopped writing my Epic novel? Probably. That's a stupid question. I don't know, I just don't find it imaginative enough. If I'm writing something I don't want it to only reflect my depressing thoughts on life and death and judgement. I want it to entertain and teach and inspire. I really don't think my epic novel was going down that direction. I admit the summary I wrote for it did have that kind of twang I was searching for, but if I compare it to similar works it lacks something. Right now I am re-reading the Harry Potter Series and the writing (especially in the first one) is so catchy and addictive. I need to produce something fun like J.K. Rowling has, or something beautiful like Meg Rosoff. I need to accomplish this to actually write a book.

My Opinion. Will probably fail.

Point of this rant is that yesterday was my birthday (although Blogger will probably say it still is, what with time differences and all) and I loved it.